Q – How big is
A – THE ARMY BUS is a very large bus (16 TON GVM) ,converted into a nite club on wheels,
with passenger capacity reduced to 33 persons,to accommadate 2 dance floors, and 2 stripper poles.

Its has the turning circle of an aircraft carrier


Q – Will THE ARMY BUS fit in my street?
A – High density housing estates, tree lined streets, low overhead rail / freeway bridges, culdersacs with limited turn-around area,
hotel entrances etc subject to inspection before access can be confirmed.

Q – Is there a toilet on board THE ARMY BUS?
A – 33 women and ONE toilet! Are you kidding?
    No on board toilet...... Comfort stops can be pre-planned in travel itinerary.

Q – How do I find out the cost of hiring THE ARMY BUS?
A – The website has a user friendly Get a Quote page. Simply fill in all the fields, click on SUBMIT, and a quotation and
availability will be replied to as soon as possible.

Q – Can I purchase food and drinks on board?
A – No.

Q - Why are there 3 interstate highways in Hawaii ?
A - Google it.

Q – Can I bring my own food and drinks on board?
A – Food is not permitted on THE ARMY BUS. Refreshments can be brought on board only in sensible quantities.

Q – What is the policy regarding soiling or damage to THE ARMY BUS?
A – The hirer will be personally liable for any damage the the bus. A minimum cleaning fee is $250.
THE ARMY BUS is heavily booked,
Any soiling of the bus has to be cleaned before the next charter (booking).
Subcontract cleaners charge in excess of normal rates for rapid response and out of normal business hours cleaning.

Q – What is the refund policy of THE ARMY BUS ?
A – Simple. Up to 7 (seven) days notice – full refund. Less than 7 (seven) days notice – nil refund.

Q – What is the privacy policy of THE ARMY BUS?
A – Except as required by law, no personal details will be transferred to a third party without permission.

Q – What sort of music do you provide?
A – Varied, to suit the occasion or guests preferences, or your playlist on AUX, USB, CD .

Q – If I am offended by a guests suggestive pole dancing, what should I do?
A – Ask your mother to stop dancing, put her clothes back on, and return to her seat.

Q – Can I bring my own music ?
A – Yes.

Q. If I "Get the girls out", will the driver play my favourite songs?
A. Maybe

Q. I have phoned 432 times. Why don't you answer your phone?
A. The contact phone number is the bus phone for guests to contact the bus whilst on charter.
     All enquiries are conducted via the website. We operate crazy hours. We will reply as soon as possible.

Q. Do you do BUCKS nights?
A. Drunken yobbos that think they are funny?
    No. Go away.

Q. Why is the word abbreviation such a long word?
A. Ask your english teacher

Q. Why aren't the bank payment details on the website?

A. If 2 people pay the same day for the same date, drama city.

Q. Does the number of passengers affect the cost of hiring the bus?
A. No. Same cost if you have 1 or 33 passengers.

Q. If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan
A. Quantum Physics at a sub-molecular level.

Q – How loud is the audio system on THE ARMY BUS?

A – Just a little louder than a 747 Jumbo Jet on full throttle take off.

Q – When the music is at maximum volume, what do I do when my ears and eye sockets start bleeding?
A – Turn the music volume down. Seek medical attention.

Q – Should I wear ear muffs on THE ARMY BUS?
A – You are too old.

Q – Is Rock and Roll music noise pollution?
A – No

Q. Why are drivers who wear baseball caps dickheads?
A. I dont know. They just are.


Q – Can I get blind drunk and throw up on THE ARMY BUS?
A – No.

Q – Are GIMPS allowed on THE ARMY BUS?
A – Well behaved, toilet trained and suitably restrained gimps are allowed on THE ARMY BUS.

Q – I am in a relationship at present, but I am looking to have an affair , and most probably dump my partner
as soon as I can find a better one.  Will I find true love on THE ARMY BUS?

A – Yes.

Q - Can I smoke on the ARMY BUS?
A - Are you serious? Of course not.Where have you been for the last 10 years?
    Smokers smell. Guests coming on board after you do not want to smell your stink.
    Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
    There is a village somewhere missing an idiot.
 
Q - Can I chew gum and spit it out somewhere on the bus so a young ladies formal gown is ruined?
A - Were you raised by wolves? Crawl back under your caravan.
 
Q. Why is'nt phonetic spelled phonetically?
A.  Ask your english teacher

Q - I am planning an 18th birthday party, and don't know if I should;

1) Have it at my home, so carloads of feral Bogans can gatecrash and trash my home, steal my cherished possessions,
and urinate on my neighbours prized rose trees,
      or
2) Give my child $200 to hit the town, and wave goodbye as they wheelspin off into the distance in a friend of a friends
$900 VN Commodore, with a 'P' plate jammed into the tinted back window and a big sticker that says "Jack lives here".
      or
3) Book a charter bus with a Queensland Transport Authorised driver, (certified to 0.00 alcohol level)
to transport my child and selected friends to a pre-arranged venue, and return them home safely at a pre-arranged time.
 
A - Durrrrr

Q. Why does inflammable mean the same as flammable
A. Ask Paul

Q – Is there a feedback facility for guests comments?

A – If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands (and please tell us!) We are working as hard as we can to
make you happy, and we understand there is always room for improvement. Your suggestions and comments
are very welcome. (politely please, or we will have you killed) Use the email service.

Q. Can i wear my classic RAMONES shirt on the bus?
will there be stops to get out and show it off.

A. Of course :Joey Lives!

 


 
   
 
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 Site By BCH          Last updated May 20, 2017